how time flies!!
gaaahd. and i have so many realizations.
last year i ended up with a great deal of a heart ache. (yeah it sucks)
and this year i think God is giving me signs that i don't have to worry no more and i have to just trust Him.
earlier this year i got a call from the tutoring center i applied for last year and suddenly offered me a job.
and since i have been receiving many students and earning at least some extra money.
and then i was asked to represent my college department in this sing and dance competition.
and it was my very first time after 3 years in college to sing and dance in front of a huge crowd!
every one i know was really shocked and didn't really expect to have that kind of talent ( i would say guts. hahaha!)
but guess what? we won! my very first time to perform and it went well and we won.
next is i was asked to run as board member in our college executive council. i was really scared since the last time i ran for something was when i was in elementary and i didn't have a rival at that time. but still i accepted the challenge.
after a looong wait, and after the tallying of votes, i got the good news. I WON.
first time participating in something like this and i actually got positive results and feedbacks!
and i couldn't help but wonder what i did to deserve all these achievements.
and also lately after taking my exams, i feel confident that i would pass it. it's really quite weird since i feel so many positive energies come to me. so many good luck.
and then i realized, i had failed so many times last year.
lost a loved one, at some point lost myself, and failed to prove everybody wrong.
now i have made new friends, gained somethings for myself and created new dreams. (of course that would include to buy some things for myself and being a full time athlete:))
and i thought something is still missing.
LOVE LIFE.
hahahahaha!
come to think about it, it's true.
i have a stable job, my school life is stable too and good, i met new people and started to go out of my shell.
the only thing lacking is someone special.
but then i thought, maybe God never intend to give me that someone just yet.
since i was in a relationship for the past 2 years.
i think God is giving me the opportunities to regain myself and confidence and to put me out into the world.
and because of ll these achievements, i realized, it can wait.
I CAN WAIT.
maybe i can enjoy singlehood for a little longer. :)
now i can attest to the saying that when God gives away something he is emptying your hands for something better.
now i can see everything clearly and also in a different perspective. :)
i hope those people who have gone through and who are still going through a big deal of pain and loss would not give up and lose hope.
i had my own moments of giving up.
i had my own suicidal moments.
but when i see all the things God has given me, i changed the way i see myself and the way i see the things around me.
it may not be easy.
but you just have to open your eyes a little wider.
sometimes it's not in the things we want to see.
it's in the things we need to see.
i hope people would realize that.
have a great day ahead!
not sure if i'm ready for summer but i'm looking forward to it!
xoxo :) ♥
pamie. :)
