on happYness...

"being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect.. it means that you've decided to see beyond imperfection.. So don't say you're happy because everything's alright.. be happy because everything sucks but you're doing just fine.."

>>my friend Patrice sent me this message this morning.. and it made me say that i really agree on this message.. and i thought, why not talk about happiness today..

>>instead of grieving for what is now gone.. why not make up for the times that was lost?
earlier, i went into a funeral.. it was the funeral of one of our dorm utility worker before.. at 51, she died of colon cancer.. it was then too late when they found out she had cancer.. at first she experienced pain and she would sometimes complain about it.. but treat it as something not serious and she thinks that it would just pass away.. but after a long time of experiencing pain, she had to go to the doctor to have a check up.. and that's when she found out that the little pain she has been experiencing has already developed on a much worse one.. colon cancer.. and it was too late to cure it..
i was thinking.. if she had known earlier that she had cancer, would she be still with us right now? maybe if she had known that she had cancer she had all the time to grieve on it.. and wouldn't have the rest of her time with her family.. i saw her pictures that was taken before she was confined.. she seem to be happy.. enjoying what could possibly be her last moments here on earth.. maybe it was meant to be like that.. sometimes we have to know what is wrong when it is all too late.. when everything is not right and there would never be a chance to fix it anymore.. maybe because at these moments, all we have to think about not the hope that we can still fix what is broken but to savor every minute or every second of our remaining time on making up for what is lost.. i have realized that when i was on my 4th year in high school..
i had friends.. and i kept them for my 4 years of stay.. but in my last year.. i made new friends.. i became close to people who i think i would never get close with.. i made friends with some people i had misunderstandings with in the past.. and i think why now? why not before? and then i realize.. so what? i know.. i couldn't make up for the moments that was lost.. but instead i made as many moments and memories with them as possible..

>>i'ts definitely fine to be sad at times
i guess.. that is the main concept of happiness.. life sucks.. life is unfair.. and there are things that you think you don't deserve.. but.. despite of all that.. it is still you choice to be happy..
i always tell my "emo" friends that Happiness.. is a choice.. life sucks.. but so what?! you can choose to be happy.. what matters is what you have right now.. and what is going to happen today.. because if you faced today with a bright and positive attitude.. it would change what you look forward to in the future..
tomorrow brings different things for you.. it's ok to grieve once in a while.. it's ok to be sad.. that's life.. life isn't life without challenges in it.. but what you have to think about is that there is always something new to look forward to in the future.. we can never change yesterday.. but we can control what could happen tomorrow..
sometimes it's just so hard to be optimistic in this world today.. there are just so many problems and we have to deal with those problems everyday.. but who said you have to grieve on it every night? or you have to think about it on weekends? even God had a break from work.. and we too have a right to have a break sometime.. we just have to spend one day without thinking what could happen tomorrow.. it's fun.. i have tried that already..

>>My Friend TJ
i have a friend who only thinks about what this day would bring and not think about tomorrow.. his name is TJ.. TJ and i had a little chat one night.. and we were talking about regrets and about life.. he thinks his life is pointless because he don't have a dream or ambition for himself.. well he thinks that maybe that is the reason why he thinks that life is so pointless.. but as we were talking i kept on telling him that if he thinks that his life is pointless he should die.. but he said he still wants to go to different places.. even if he would be regretting not going to school someday what matters for him is to be happy just for today.. he thinks that maybe he'd be gone tomorrow so he have to be happy today.. so i said, "so your life isn't pointless after all".. and then that's when i think he realized that i am right.. sometimes.. we have to be like TJ.. spending each day like it was your last.. at times i envy him so much because even though he knows that life really sucks at times.. he still lives like there is no tomorrow and tries to be happy..

>> My Friend Jerven and i talk about how sometimes our happiness could hurt the people we love
now.. all i think about is.. there are really a million ways to be happy.. each of us has a different way on how to be happy.. and what would makes us happy.. but sometimes what makes us happy hurts other people around us.. and what's much more worse? we sometimes hurt people close to us, people we love just because of our happiness.. there was one time when my friend Jerven asked this question: "what if your one and only happiness would hurt the people you truly love?".. i couldn't answer his question.. and i know i would never know how to answer this question.. Jerven had problems.. with dealing with this question.. all i can say is.. maybe we should think what would make us happy the most.. sometimes, our happiness is not the right thing.. we could hurt so many people for just one day of being happy.. and maybe the issue of risking would come in

>> On Risking..
my friend Princess had a problem risking... she said she knows it would make her happy but she is just too afraid to risk it.. i told her.. sometimes you have to risk some things for you to be happy.. and sometimes there are things that is worth risking for and there are things that are not.. maybe most of the things that i have risked for isn't worth risking for.. but i never regretted doing some of those things.. because from those mistakes i am a better and stronger person.. sometimes we have to make mistakes.. and risk some things of our life just to be happy in the future.. we all have to go through pain before we could feel such happiness.. we risk and bargain our happiness for a much better one.. and sometimes we fail.. but if only we have enough faith.. maybe we could never fail..

**happiness is such a subjective matter.. we have our own unique way of being happy and how to be happy.. sometimes we just have to appreciate small things just to be happy.. we may not know what our future brings.. but what matters is what you really want.. what you want today maybe what you would not want in the future.. people changes and so is how we deal with pain and happiness.. think about it.. maybe if i would try to be happy today.. i will be happy tomorrow.. even if it rains and i don't have my umbrella.. even if i slipped in front of somebody i like or even if today was just a bad luck day for me.. try to see the good side of things.. because we will always look forward for something new and something better tomorrow.. :)