i always thought that life is a matter of choice.. and it all depends on what we know, what we think, what we do or how we act on a certain situation.. for short, it all depends on us.. but sometimes i find myself corrected and it makes me change the way i think and feel about certain things in my life.. this is my first and last entry this month.. when i should've written my resolutions on the first day i chose to write it on the last.

there were nights this month that i would just sit, look at my open book and notes and think about how miserable my life was back then.. and then i would eventually start to cry.. i thought, i had no choice at that time.. my parents had to be separated and i have to move in a place where i feel that i don't belong because the people made me feel that i didn't belong.. that was it.. i just had to sit there staring at my notes and remember the bad things and then i would start to cry.. but then again.. maybe i was just tired.. tired of my life having all my efforts gone to waste.. well sometimes i think that it is gone to waste.. sometimes people don't appreciate you for who you are and what good you do.. they stick to the bad side and the mistakes yu have done in the past.. i think i didn't have a choice.. but i did.. i had a choice to live a non-miserable life by looking at things at a different angle.. but then i think, wrong again.. i think that life soemtimes isn't a matter of choice.. it sometimes is a matter of letting the water flow where it suppose to flow.. i am a spontaneous person and yet i believe that life is a matter of choices.. choices that we make good or bad.. and this month i have learned that it's not like that all the time.. sometimes you choose the bad.. unconsciously.. though life is not a matter of good or bad choices.. life is about how you let things decide on its own. how you let it flow through you and how you digest every information you receive.. because if life is all about choices, we would actually choose what to believe even if it's a lie, we would choose who to love even if everybody, good or bad is worth loving.. there are things in life that we don't have to make a choice.. we just need to see things in a different angle.. a different side.. and i hope the good side..

last year there were so many things that happened to me.. good and bad.. there will never be always good and always bad.. but i strive to be a better person even if many judge me for the mistakes i have done in the past and hurt me for being so imperfect.. but this year after going through this month i realized that there are so many people out there who care for me and who are ready to defend me.. i never chose those people to be my friends and they never chose me... we became friends because we are friends by heart.. like what on Philosopher said that friendship is two bodies with one soul.. something like that..

i now know why certain new year resolutions do not work.. because they plan to do it on the first day of the year when in fact, we couldn't predict things that would happen and the circumstances that we would go through on the start of the year.. i think that we all need to adapt first on what's ahead in this year and then plan on the things that we are going to do to make things work out.. sometimes we can't act on a plan instantly because sometimes we are faced with different unexpected circumstances.. so those who are the "planning" type would have plan A, B, C up to Z.. but for those who are not are just going to give up on doing their resolutions and go ahead with life.. what a spirit!!!! haha!! i just had the crazy idea of setting the whole month of January for planning my new year's resolution for the remaining 11 months of this year..well these are not mere plans and resolutions these are the things that i have learned this month and i am going to carry for the whole year..

resolution/realization

#1. life is always unfair.. it will never be fair.. let us all face it.. all we have to do is see the good in things.. :)

#2. always follow what's written in the procedure.. you'll get in trouble if you don't

#3. life is always fun with friends around, be with people who makes you happy :D

#4. past is past... period..

#5. follow your heart and do the right thing!!!!

#6. don't cry over spilled milk..

#7. use your past pains for your current strength.. :)

#8. laugh at your mistakes.. it's fun!!!

#9. it gives happiness if you give more..

#10. devote yourself for something very important.. like.. uhmm.. studies!! haha!!

lastly.. try different kind of things everyday!! :)

be happy and live life!!! :)