here are my pictures from yesterday.. :)

pink - just like a pill

just like i promised i would go into full details in what happened yesterday..

i was making my report when suddenly my phone rang..

it was my friends from UP cesi, mader, cutie, ashley and ruki.. :)

they sang happy birthday to me.. silang lahat.. (buti di ako umiyak!) ehehe..

we talked for 3mins and then the call ended..

i missed them.. and i am looking forward on seeing them soon..

then the text messages kept on going..

well to organize this entry i would list all the people who greeted mt through text.. and the time they greeted and maybe even their message :)

September 29 9:05 pm
Kenn Jenniel : Happy bday Pamie! MORE BLESSINGS AND SUCCESS!
September 30 12:00mn
Patrice :)
Cesi : happy birthday pam! tiguwang na jud ka amping pirme i'm so blessed to have a friend like you thanks for being a good friend and kabarkada.. labyoo so much.. miss u napud!
12:08 am
gillen adino (blockmate ko) :) at nakitext pa talaga siya para mag greet sa akin!
12:12 am
sir jokix! :) na touch ako! di niya nakalimutan bday ko!
3:46 am
ate iris.. :)
5:13 am
anthony :) thank God at peace na kami :)
5:38 am
my mom! :) tumawag siya actually pero di ko nasagot kasi naliligo ako nun para pumunta na ako ng church..
6:57 am
lalaine.. ang littile sister ko sa pisay.. :)
7:05 am
Jibs anthony magallanes. :)
7:35 am
si donna :)
8:06 am
zia :) isa pang little sis ko sa pisay
8:30 am
LB peeps: Ange, Elaine and te roselle :)
8:43 am
kuya marco and ate jevy (boardmates)
8:44 am
sean cyrus apura (blockmate ulit) nakitxt lang din xa para mag greet sa akin! ang saya :)
9:01 am
nagtext si kuya marco na happy birthday daw sa akin from chowking kasi dun sila nag breakfast.. haha.. :D
9:10 am
toni rose! :)
9:23
sir ian lumontod
9:59 am
michie mutia (blockmate na naman)
10:23 am
Nisa sampaco (blockmate)
11:09 am
kuya gem.. my loving cousin :)
12:22pm
jhomel :)
01:59 pm
amagne :)
matapos ko mag parinig sa iba na bday ko noong araw na iyon.. nagbaha na naman ang greetings :)
08:23 pm
ang aking pamangkin na si Gelai
8:25 pm
galdys gultia (blockmate)
8:26 pm
Rey Israel Tan :) crush ko!!!
8:27 pm
edd neil tabudlong! waah! :D
8:44 pm
tj :)
8:58 pm
john andrew.. :)
9:30 pm
mary jecjec! miss ko na talaga siya! :)
9:44 pm
kuya mardee.. :)
10:13 pm
si atche! :)
11:23 pm
si ANDREY :)
11:51 pm
si ate jerra :)

at yun na yun.. ang daming nag greet pero mejo marami din ang nakalimot.. pero ok lang.. masaya pa rin..

and now.. i thought of something different in my birthday.. since i am now seventeen and one year na lang 18 na ako.. dapat may changes na sa akin.. so i listed my 17 Birthday Resolutions (kala niyo sa new year lang pwede noh? eh new year ito for me!)

so let's count them down

# 17 bday resolution - never miss wednesday and sunday masses as in NEVER!
# 16 bday resolution - pray the rosary on wednesdays
# 15 bday resolution - study more!
# 14 bday resolution - be more responsible with own things!
# 13 bday resolution - be more active in school! it helps build character (char! san ko kaya nakuha yun?)
# 12 bday resolution - listen to the teacher pag nag didiscuss siya.. importante madevelop ang listening skills sa klase! di dapat laging nag kwekwentuhan sa katabi.. make sure na ang katabi ay boring! haha!
# 11 bday resolution - magtipid! wag gasta ng gasta! wag din masyadong mag ipon.. nakakasama.. ma tetemp ka mangupit sa sarili mong ipon
# 10 bday resolution - gumawa ng mga ganitong resolutions kada taon para mainspire ka
# 9 bday resolution - maging friendly.. don't judge a book by it's intro.. wag manghusga kaagad ng taong kakakilala mo pa lang.. malay mo baka may makuha ka sa kanya.. joke!
# 8 bday resolution - be forgiving.. alam ko.. i am already a forgiving person.. pero be more forgiving and understanding but not to the point nt mag papa api ka na sa kanila.. lumaban kung kailangan lumaban.. di ka naman pababayaan ni Lord :)
# 7 bday resolution - be more optimistic.. di solution sa problema ang pagkain ng marami.. tataba ka lang at lalo lang dadami problema mo
# 6 bday resolution - alamin ang priorities para sa sarili.. wag sa iba!
# 5 bday resolution - wag na masyadong magtiwala.. yun na yun.. period!
# 4 bday resolution - sabi nga ni Mommy.. love is not love until you give it away.. ibigay na lahat ng pag mamahal.. habang tumatanda umiikli ang buhay!
# 3 bday resolution - wag na maging tamad sa lahat ng bagay! mag aral! maglinis! mag exercise at mag aral ulit!
# 2 bday resolution - wag nang mag puyat at gumising ng maaga.. magdala lagi ng payong at mag facial wash na.. ayaw mong pumagit pag dumating na ang debut mo!

# 1 bday resolution - DIET NA! wag na masyadong kumain! dapat pag start ng next sem di ka na masyadong tumaba!

next na trip ko.. since 17 na ako at alam ko mejo marami rami na ring akong nagawang nakakahiya sa 17 years ng buhay ko..  tatawagin ko tong 17 dyahe things about me:

# 17 - nanonood ako ng Porn pag bored ako.. (yikes)

# 16 - kinukuha ko ang mga coins sa pitaka ng nanay ko (naku!)

# 15 - nagnanakaw ako ng load sa plan ng nanay ko pag wala akong perang pang load..

# 14 - pag summer minsan masyado akong tinatamad para ishave ang buhok ko sa kilikili (ewww)

# 13 - nagbabasa din ako ng mga stories sa pantasya (uhoh!)

# 12 - noong bata ako sandamakmak ang dami ng kuto ko!

# 11 - hanggang ngayon natatakot pa rin ako sa moo moo

# 10 - di pa rin ako madaling makatulog pag nakanood ako ng mga horror films

# 9 - sa bahay ibang tao ang naglalaba ng underwear ko.. yikes!

# 8 - di ako madalas mag tootbrush dati.. dati umaabot ng 3 days ang di ko pag tootbrush.. eww..

# 7 -  lahat ng nabigay sa akin na alahas ng nanay ko at ng auntie ko parang nawala ko na lahat (yikes! patay!)

# 6 - tawag sa akin ng mga kalaro ko sa manila ay matampuhin.. kasi lagi akong nagtatampo pag tinatawag nila akong mataba.. kaya tawag nila sa akin noon matabang matampuhin (huhu)

# 5- sinabi ng doctor sa nanay ko na ipa diet ako dahil sa sobrang taba ko

# 4 - sa bahay namin sa manila ang mga kalaro ko sa bahay ang mga unan ko.. (actually parang hanggang ngayon)

# 3 - may tumawag na sa akin na pangit noong grade 3 :(

# 2 - di mawala wala ang aking dandruff 

# 1 - first weeks sa klase ng sem ayaw ko mostly sa mga blockmates ko.. lagi ko silang bina back bite sa utak ko.. at nakasulat pa ako ng bad things about them.. sorry.. :( pero ngayon iba na ang tingin ko sa kanila.. :)

last trip.. ito naman ang 17 things you don't know about me:

# 17 - madali lang akong umiyak.. pag nanonood ng mga films or pag may nakita akong something touching.. madali akong maiyak.. lalo na sa mga love stories at saka drama.. 

# 16 - cge na.. oo na.. hopeless romantic na nga ako..

# 15 - pag gusto ko ang isang kanta kailangan pakinggan ko yun more than 20 times sa isang araw.. hanggang sa mag sawa ako..

# 14 - ayokong nanonood ng movie mag isa.. narerealize ko kung ganu ka lonely kung walang boylet.. 

# 13 - first kiss ko nangyari sa sinehan.. (may iba na alam na ito)

# 12 - di kami ganun kayaman.. mostly sa mga damit ko ukay ukay..

# 11 - nasusuka ako pag nakakaamoy ako ng SPAM

# 10 - 1st year high school pa ako noong natuto akong mag internet.. kakahiya!

# 9 - nagka crush na ako sa babae dati 

# 8 - hate ko ang OPM except sa mga songs ng PNE at Eraserheads\

# 7 - na cheacheapan ako sa mga artista dito sa Pilipinas.. except ni John Lloyd!

# 6 - kaya kong umobos ng isang bandehadong kanin pag talagang gutom ako.. (obvious naman diba?)

# 5 - minsan nakakasuka na ang pagkain sa Jollibee

# 4 - pangarap ko kumain ng eat all you can sa KFC!

# 3 - PUNKista ako.. PUNKkaraan! waah!!!

# 2 - pagkain lang ang katapat ng boredome ko..

# 1 - pumapayat ako pag naka istambay lang ako sa bahay

and that's it! yun na yun! thanks guys! :)

happy birthday to me!!

gosh!

what a day!!

happy birthday to me!

weeh..

i'm 17 and one year na lang 18 na ako!

legal age for voting.. and all kinds of stuff.. :)

well..

as what i do..

i started the day.. (as in september 30 12mn) by doing my report on my history class since although it's a holiday.. we still have make-up classes..

and then the greetings came in..

friends from UP called..

text messages from dear friends..

(well maybe tomorrow i will tell you the full details about these)

then i went to bed at 1 am..

i woke up at 5:30 am and took a bath to attend the 6 am mass in the nearby church..

it was raining actually but i didn't bring an umbrella..

thingking it was God's blessing..

after going to church i went home and went back to sleep..

i woke up at 9am and got dress up to go to school..

at school we were the only students there..

and of course my blockmates greeted me.. :)

before i went home i bought a cake and food for lunch..

we ate and went to Timoga..

we had a lot of fun..

yess..

but there's still something missing..

i'm kinda tired tonigh..

i'll tell you everything about it tomorrow morning..

gudnyt.. :)

3 days and it's over..

i have just finished my laundry..

i am acrually sleepy since we woke up at 5:30 am to have our "jogging"..

well.. actually we didn't really jogged..

we just walked a couple kilometers..

i am tired..

but no so tired..

and then after eating breakfast i didmy laundry..

i want to sleep.

maybe later.. 

till then..

well.. 3 days and it's over.. 

i don't know what to look forward to..

:)

blank

right now..

my mind is bank..

i don't know what to write about..


something that is significant enough and worth writing about...

i guess there's really none..


i have an exam tomorrow..

good luck to me..


today has been gloomy...


i hope everything changes tomorrow..

less than ten days to go

last night i enjoyed our cultural night for the celebration of the Chemical Engineering Week..

i had a lot of fun cheering for my batch mates who presented and competed at the same time..

i slept late so i woke up late..

therefore..

i am now again absent in my cwts class..

well.. i think i don't mind..

since "madami naman kami" :)

random thoughts again..

my background music for today is "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

nice? yeah..

it's such a cute song.. :)

not that i can relate to it..


it's just i like to listen to it.. :)

anyways..

i have this line.. it's been running around my head since last night..


"there are a million reasons why i should let him go..

but i only have one great reason why i shouldn't.."


and what would that reason be?


i still don't know..

i'm trying to figure it out..

and which reminds me..

less than 10 days to go..

i'll be a year older..

:)




center>


Jason Mraz and Colbie Collait - Lucky

the continuation

just like what i said yesterday i promised to write today..
i'm here outside since the WiFi connection is much stronger and there are a lot of people in our room again.. and also since our "land lady" knows about me having a laptop.. i am now free to show it.. ;p

it's kinda cold out here.. compared to our room which i would describe as hot like hell.. and then a friend would ask me.. have you already gone to hell? how can you say it's hot like hell.. i would answer him in a form of a joke like.. "hell yeah.. i actually came from there"

but the truth is.. i have been there.. a lot of times before..

well.. it's about feeling in hell..

hell is a place where you feel miserable.. very miserable..

some people would call earth as the living hell..

most of the times it's true..

but i have learned to be optimistic and appreciate even the smallest good thing here on earth..

anyways...

about yesterday..

there are some interesting things that happened..

i wrote about FORGIVENESS in our English 1 class..

they say.. to FORGIVE is to FORGET..

some said i am a very forgiving person..
i don't actually know..


maybe...


maybe because i don't want to live forever in hatred..

life is short.. as what they say..

i don't want to carry a very heavy burden as i journey..

it's just not worth it..

they are just not worth to cry about.. and babble about..

so.. just forgive and forget it..

though there are some things that are not easily forgotten..
but sometimes you have to..
not just to retain a good relationship with that person..
but also not to waste the good times..

for friends.. i take it as a test of friendship..

if he or she does the same mistake again..

not my problem..

but as the bible says..

forgive 70 times 7..

i am doing that.. :)

next interesting thing.. i went to the guidance office to have my duty as a SPF aspirant..

well..

no sweat at all.. all i have to do is to sit down and wait for orders..

easy eh?

hell yeah.. and i enjoyed chatting with the guys there..

it's a lot of fun..

maybe i'll be going back there tomorrow..
(thanks ate iris!) :)

last interesting thing that happened was staying outside the lecture hall after waiting for our math teacher to come..

we were there with a couple of classmates and a friend PATRICE who was also my classmate and the "boylet" Andrey..

they were discussing.. or giving an advice rather to one classmate who has "love problems"

(so this part is all about love thingy.. and now playing on my laptop is.. "a million miles away by nikki gil")

so let's name this classmate.. Michie wa having problems because she just broke up with her boyfriend.. for no reason at all.. she was asking advices from us.. she didn't cry and as though she was just ok with it..

weird huh?

our conversation came to a point describing guys.. and also girls in general.. in terms of attitude when it comes to situations like these..

i didn't talk that much.. all i did was listened to them.. sometimes i would joke around about the topic because they seemed so serious..

there are some things that i have learned..

most guys hate it when it's them that would break up with their girlfriends..

even if they have the reasons.. they would still wait for the girl to break up with them..

for me? it's like.. unfair..!!

it should be a confrontation process..

and both of you should talk it over..

and it's not that bad if the guy will start to talk about it..

it's just like.. the guy is fooling the girl..

when you guys think that you can't handle the relationship anymore..

tell the girls.. it's not about the pride of the girls..

it's about saving them from being so much hurt..

though it would still hurt.. but at least.. it would not hurt that much,.

and for the girls.. if this happens to you,.. evaluate yourself.. ask questions why and try to understand what really is happening.. ;p

next thing that i learned is that...

even if you have known someone like all your life.. and get into a nice relationship with that person.. there would still be a possibility of falling out of love with that person..

it's like.. waking up one day and you don't feel anything for that person anymore..
or the most correct statement is..

things aren't just the same anymore..

and hearing these things.. i have just realized so many things..

about my so-called LOVE LIFE..

well... this guy is just.. so nice.. i like him and he likes me too..

but...............................................

(now playing.. hear my heart by nikki gil)

he's attached.. and i cannot stand the fact that he cannot break up with his girlfriend because he couldn't find the right reasons..


BULLSHIT..

what does he call me?

may times i have doubted him.. and i know it hurt him a lot..

but he could never blame me..

but the good thing about him is that..

there wasn't a chance that he made me feel that i wasn't loved by him..

or i wasn't cared by him...

but it's just so painful that this is all we could ever be..

i promised to wait until i can..

but until when can i wait?

one thing that hurts me is that he never gave me that assurance that i am the one he is going to choose..

painful shit...

like in the song i am listening to right now..

"Let me know
Where all of my love should go
Why all the hurt and the pain and the tears
I can't show"

most of the times i think of letting all of these stop..

but can i?

could i?

i don't know...

he's just that all that..

i am...

scared.....

hurt.....

in pain.....

what am i to do?

if i ask some people i am sure they will tell me to stop it since it is wrong and just look for someone else..

sounds simple eh?

SHIT...


i'll end this with a hopeless romantic line from this bullshit song..

"Hear my heart
Crying in silence
It hurts so much
Trying to run from your smile, your touch
Waiting, pretending this game's a waste
Knowing you just can't be mine

Praying someday you'd be mine"

more than halfway there..

things seems like back to normal but something's still missing and it's not just the same anymore...

this morning in our English 1 class.. we were asked to write about a concept.. and i wrote about FORGIVENESS..

maybe because of my recent experience...


but it's a lesson i have learned going through a very rough time in my life..


there are a lot of people in our room right now..

i'll write again tomorrow..

goodnight.. :)

boarding house blues..

i just want to share our happy and crazy moments in our boarding house.. :)

(i just made a slide show kasi ang tagal mag upload ng blogspot ;p)

i made it extra large para makita ng lahat :)

guy sebastian - all i need is you

i just realized how much i missed home..

well.. i'm actually back on my table in my room here back home..

it's actually nice to be back..

i've seen familiar faces in church this morning.. when i had my confirmation.. i saw the kids who were the classmates of my nephews and niece before.. it's been 4 years since i saw them.. and i was amazed on how big they are right now.. shocks! their big guys and almost ladies already..

and that makes me what? old?! what?!!!!

it reminds me.. 24 days to go..

it seems so far.. yet i could feel it fast approaching.. next year would be my 18th birthday.. and then on 2010 i could officially vote!

how cool is that?! i mean i could get to choose freely who i want to get elected.. nice.. it feels like you area real adult.. but sometimes i miss childhood.. and hate adults stuff.. well.. we all have to grow.. :)

i am much happy now..

not that i am fine with my failing midterm score in math..

but i just realized how many people really do care about me..

and they are more important than the so-called friends i have right now..

but one thing is for sure..

i will never be alone..

right now.. i am missing someone terribly!

gosh! i miss you!! i guess we will not be seeing each other for two days!

it's like hell! (like i have ever been to hell)..

but.. i know.. you think about me somehow..


grrr... i hate how complicated things are between the two of us..

well.. hear my heart.. i wish someday i could give it to you.. and you could give yours too..

gosh! am i having a love life here?

hmmmmmmmmmm............................................

maybe..

tomorrow will be a day full of food! i love food!

it's my aunt's birthday.. she's already 61 but she looks young.. in fairness to her..

well.. just like a line i just saw from the tv..


IT FEELS GOOD TO BE BACK!!!

i just want to go home where i actually belong to

i feel sick and i want to go home..

or maybe anywhere..


anywhere where i couldn't see them..

and be with the people who cares the most..


i am failing..


at some point in my life i always feel that even if i have tried to do everything just to achieve something..


i always find myself failing..

anyways..

thanks for that hug.. i wanted to cry but i was just for a short time.. thanks for making me feel special even though i am feeling like a mess right now..
thanks for letting me know how much i mean to you in times i don't even know what's my worth..

things are a bit complicated right now.. but you are still there..

for a short period of time.. i am got to know you in your deepest desires and your dreams..
thanks for sharing those with me..

and i will always appreciate even the little things you are doing for me..

i wish you were here.. i wish you are always by my side..

but things are just so complicated right now..

but thanks anyway...

thanks.. for even just a little time in my day you make me happy in ways you couldn't see..

now.. i want to cry...........................
(why am i so emotional these past few days?)

i wish i could know what's really wrong.. help.. i need help.. i am now sinking through the darkness.. :(

28 days to go and i still feel like a total mess.. :(

itong blog entry na ito ay para sa tao at mga taong gusto kong kausapin ngayon pero parang di sila interesado sa akin..

(mamaya na ako mag susulat.. kasi parang gusto kong umiyak.. nandito pa si carl sa kwarto namin.. nakakahiya.. ang dami pa ding gising)

waiting..............................................................................................................................................................

gusto nang tumulo ng luha ko.. :,(

wait lang.. iyak muna ako..

shoot! ininterrupt ni carl ang moment ko!

wala na akong ganang mag emote!

bye!

29 days to go.. and i feel like a total mess!!

it's the first day of the month of september.. and today.. i feel like a total mess!
what's happening to me? or what's happening to the world? how did it start? when did it start?
i have a midterm exam tomorrow and i just found out about it today! what the fuck is going on?!
life is just so full of surprises..
it's the first month and i feel that i broke.. problems are just popping out of nowhere!
shit! my heart is breaking.. not because i'm broken hearted.. but because i don't know what to think about the people i used to care about.. right now.. i just want to cry.. i miss the people i used to trust my life with.. i miss the people who would never think bad about me.. where are they now? have i done something wrong to make them feel bad? i don't know.. my mind is totally blank..
well.. maybe.. tomorrow it may change..

so much for being such a total loser..

like what i have said.. i have a midterm exam tomorrow.. and i am not prepared.. 7:30 am tomorrow.. wtf!!! shit! i hate english!!

like what i said also earlier.. it's the first day of the month! and it's already -BER month... and on tv shows i already heard playing of christmas songs.. yeah.. you hear me right.. it's almost 115 days before the holidays and everybody's just so excited for it to come.. i mean.. yeah.. christmas is fun.. gifts.. the season of giving.. of loving.. etc.. and the food! gosh! my favorite part.. and the get-togethers.. well that's christmas.. and everybody's just so excited.. except me.. what?! me?! well.. i have my reasons.. maybe i could find new reasons to like the season.. we'll just see..

i have to go now and study.. i'll just have to write another time..


i wanna go home.. :(