welcome 2011!

this is my first post for this year. and i know i have been such a bitch by not writing anything decent last year. but i'm here now and i am writing again! finally!

these past few weeks i have been through a rough break up with my ex of 2 years.

though everything's okay now, there is still that pain i am feeling.

i have two posts that i wasn't able to finish since i want to start my year right.

i want to start by writing something sensible for once.

as i have said for the past three weeks i have been through a rough break up.

there was a lot of drama, crying in the middle of the night, confrontations and many more.

true, betrayal is always painful, but in the end you will find something comforting that makes the pain less and less everyday.

but all has been said and done, and i have forgiven those people who hurt me (including that fucking bitch who my ex said he loves but not more than he loved me), and now i am doing a fresh new start and i am dedicating this year for myself. and for myself only. :)

for the past 2 years at least, i have given myself to a person whom i thought would cherish me for a long period of time.

for the past 2 freaking years i have given myself to someone and left a little for myself.

and now, this year will be all for ME. and ME alone.

me and my happiness, me and the things i could have done for the past two years if i wasn't in a relationship, me and the things i would want to do in my life right now.

i have realized, i have so many dreams for myself. i have so many things i want to do, i want to become. and even in my little ways i want to fulfill some of those dreams.

i was never an achiever, but i was always the hardworker.

and now, i want to achieve something for myself. something i would never thought i want. and i am going to find out what it is.

i am a very open person. i adjust to things most people find themselves crazy adjusting in.

i can't say that i am not the me that i used to be.

i am still me.

there is still that dark and twisted side.

but there is also that happy and optimistic side.

and about love?

i am single and ready to mingle!

what happened, can't possibly stop me from loving again.

i mean yeah, he is the first real relationship that i had, though it didn't end well, and i am on the process of moving on, but i am ready to face the future and look ahead for what's in store for me.

if someone comes, then i'd be happy to entertain. but if not, then it's still okay. :)

i don't believe i have to grieve for long. :)

i am moving on and i am choosing to move on, despite of the pain that sometimes still come to me at night.

(like last night i cried again but no sweat, i am still fine)

so that's it!

this is my plan, my dream and my aspiration.

and i hope everyone will also have a good year this year!

i mean trials will always come, but worry not for we all can get through that.

i always believe that! :)

xoxo!! ♥